Awesome.
28.10.08
^_^
I honestly don't remember the whole evening. We were both sober, neither of us fond of drinking, but also rather tired. If I tried to explain the whole thing, I know I would forget something. Instead I'll describe the parts that stood out the most, the ones that still cause me to squirm at the memory, the moments I'll never forget.
He laid next to me, arm curled around my stomach, hand exploring my body. I twisted my arm back and touched him, my hand tracing the areas on his body where he was exploring on mine. When he traced his fingers up along my chest, so did my hand on his. As he ventured further down my stomach, so did I. Every sensation he gave me, I returned equally.
I am, after all, submissive. It is within me a driving desire to please.
His fingers danced along the edges of my lace panties, and I teased him in return, dragging my nails lightly along his hip, making him shudder with the sensation. He grabbed my inner thigh, and slowly scratched up. Moaning, I did the same until he could barely move from the pleasure of it.
I was blessed in being able to play with such a sensitive man, his reactions almost equal mine in intensity.
Continuing upward, I moved my hand swiftly and suddenly, grabbing his impressive cock and soliciting a loud and satisfactory gasp from him. I played with it, slowly, though the angle was awkward, but he seemed to enjoy himself.
I remember him being on top of me, the look of anticipation, the look of drowning in pleasure.
I remember his cock entering me, ending months worth of abstinence, drowning in a sensory overload, trying so hard not to be to loud. He gripped my shoulders, pulling himself close and started to pump in and out, ordering me to be quiet. After a brief break to grab the proper protection, we continued to have some of the best sex I've ever experienced, though if you were to ask my why it was among the best, I couldn't tell you. It certainly wasn't the kinkiest or wildest, and while his cock is impressive, I've seen one or two bigger. We were in a simple missionary position.
I honestly don't know why it was so good, it just was. He wasn't too gentle, he wasn't afraid to bite, he reacted just as much as I did. He made me laugh afterwards (Nicklish Tipples)
Afterwards we cleaned up and cooled off, laid next to each other, casually playing and teasing and talking and even laughing.
At one point I brushed his hand away, and a look came over his face. He got up, pinned my wrists down and asked "Are you going to deny me?"
That was undoubtedly the sexiest thing he did all evening (actually it was morning by then). I really do like him, and what I find myself longing most from him is not sex (although the sex, as mentioned before, is wonderful). What I want most from him is companionship and domination, and to have him dom me like that, albeit so simply, was powerful, and I found myself in that moment willing to do anything for him, anything to please him and make him happy.
It was a good night.
My hand continued to move upward
He laid next to me, arm curled around my stomach, hand exploring my body. I twisted my arm back and touched him, my hand tracing the areas on his body where he was exploring on mine. When he traced his fingers up along my chest, so did my hand on his. As he ventured further down my stomach, so did I. Every sensation he gave me, I returned equally.
I am, after all, submissive. It is within me a driving desire to please.
His fingers danced along the edges of my lace panties, and I teased him in return, dragging my nails lightly along his hip, making him shudder with the sensation. He grabbed my inner thigh, and slowly scratched up. Moaning, I did the same until he could barely move from the pleasure of it.
I was blessed in being able to play with such a sensitive man, his reactions almost equal mine in intensity.
Continuing upward, I moved my hand swiftly and suddenly, grabbing his impressive cock and soliciting a loud and satisfactory gasp from him. I played with it, slowly, though the angle was awkward, but he seemed to enjoy himself.
I remember him being on top of me, the look of anticipation, the look of drowning in pleasure.
I remember his cock entering me, ending months worth of abstinence, drowning in a sensory overload, trying so hard not to be to loud. He gripped my shoulders, pulling himself close and started to pump in and out, ordering me to be quiet. After a brief break to grab the proper protection, we continued to have some of the best sex I've ever experienced, though if you were to ask my why it was among the best, I couldn't tell you. It certainly wasn't the kinkiest or wildest, and while his cock is impressive, I've seen one or two bigger. We were in a simple missionary position.
I honestly don't know why it was so good, it just was. He wasn't too gentle, he wasn't afraid to bite, he reacted just as much as I did. He made me laugh afterwards (Nicklish Tipples)
Afterwards we cleaned up and cooled off, laid next to each other, casually playing and teasing and talking and even laughing.
At one point I brushed his hand away, and a look came over his face. He got up, pinned my wrists down and asked "Are you going to deny me?"
That was undoubtedly the sexiest thing he did all evening (actually it was morning by then). I really do like him, and what I find myself longing most from him is not sex (although the sex, as mentioned before, is wonderful). What I want most from him is companionship and domination, and to have him dom me like that, albeit so simply, was powerful, and I found myself in that moment willing to do anything for him, anything to please him and make him happy.
It was a good night.
My hand continued to move upward
3.8.08
Kinky and Proud.
I hate it when people look down upon those who are in the BDSM lifestyle.
If a person is kinky or has a particular fetish, thats fine. If they are completely vanilla, and that makes them happy, that's fine too.
But please dom't look down on people because of their fetishes.
Case and point: my ex.
A narcissist who believes he is always right, this man knows how protective I am about my kinky life style, and how much I value it. He claimed to be a dom, yet he never showed any interest in domming me, inside the bedroom or out. I soon found out that not only was this guy not a dom, he was fucking vanilla as well. We actually broke up because of my BDSM lifestyle; he called it degrading, and so I walked away.
Two months later, an a few attempts to at least repair our friendship, and he still won't quit. He further voiced his disgust for the lifestyle by saying "those who like to dominate, degrade, and humilate others are just cowards."
What angers me is not only does this guy not get it, he doesn't even want to TRY to understand the lifestyle, or TRY to accept the fact the some people enjoy it. I've tried to tell him that rape roleplay isn't really rape because of consent, that humiliation really isn't degrading because of consent, etc. His problem is that he only sees things in terms of black and white, and the world of BDSM lies in various shades of gray.
I don't mean to use this particular blog as a place for me to vent, but this particular occasion I couldn't help myself. I am a kinky woman, I am a submissive woman, and I refuse to be ashamed of it.
If a person is kinky or has a particular fetish, thats fine. If they are completely vanilla, and that makes them happy, that's fine too.
But please dom't look down on people because of their fetishes.
Case and point: my ex.
A narcissist who believes he is always right, this man knows how protective I am about my kinky life style, and how much I value it. He claimed to be a dom, yet he never showed any interest in domming me, inside the bedroom or out. I soon found out that not only was this guy not a dom, he was fucking vanilla as well. We actually broke up because of my BDSM lifestyle; he called it degrading, and so I walked away.
Two months later, an a few attempts to at least repair our friendship, and he still won't quit. He further voiced his disgust for the lifestyle by saying "those who like to dominate, degrade, and humilate others are just cowards."
What angers me is not only does this guy not get it, he doesn't even want to TRY to understand the lifestyle, or TRY to accept the fact the some people enjoy it. I've tried to tell him that rape roleplay isn't really rape because of consent, that humiliation really isn't degrading because of consent, etc. His problem is that he only sees things in terms of black and white, and the world of BDSM lies in various shades of gray.
I don't mean to use this particular blog as a place for me to vent, but this particular occasion I couldn't help myself. I am a kinky woman, I am a submissive woman, and I refuse to be ashamed of it.
25.7.08
"Mominatrix" - cute article.
I thought this was pretty cool. This is the kind of mother I'd probably end up being. (I am a natural submissive, but it's too personal for me to do professionally, I would be more comfortable dominating in a professional situation.)
I hope you enjoy it. :)
http://www.momlogic.com/2008/06/mommy_by_day_dominatrix_by_nig.php
I hope you enjoy it. :)
http://www.momlogic.com/2008/06/mommy_by_day_dominatrix_by_nig.php
End of a Contract {time to start blogging again}
"Lately I've been feeling so unwanted by my dominant, and I dont know what I did to make him not want me. I feel like i'm drowning in a sea of loneliness, and the person that I want most to please, whom I want to serve, to care for, to submit to, doesn't seem want me."
My dominant, The Sadist, told me tonight that he had decided not to renew our contract.It upset me more then I realized, not because I love him (I don't love him), but because it is always hard to lose a dominant, especially a good dominant. I feel as if I could have been a much better submissive for him, especially towards the end. I was dealing with immense loneliness, and kept looking towards him for comfort. If it had been a loving relationship, I would have every right to look towards him for comfort, but it wasn't. It was a contracted relationship, and a strictly D/s one. No emotions, no feelings. Well, there was emotion. I care for him, he is a good friend, and my biggest fear is that somehow that friendship has been damaged.
I went over to Angela's and cried for a little bit. It didn't help that he gave horrible reasons, when in reality the most likely reason why he's ending it is because he's bored with me and wants something new and exciting. I hate it when guys do that, about 80% of my relationships end because of that. I realize what I missed wasn't The Sadist himself, but his actions. His dominance, and his sadism. I am a natural submissive, and when I have a good dom, I flourish. He was a lot of fun, and I will miss it.We then watched season two of the muppet show, and I cheered up a little.
When I got home, I cuddled up with my room mate/ex-dominant, Z, which always makes me feel better. He is very easy to talk to. We talked about the possibility of me becoming his submissive again someday, a conversation that we started a few weeks ago. I'm not ready for anything right now, I want some "me" time, time to relax, work, meditate, evolve. Fortunately, he isn't ready for anything either. He is having coffee tomorrow (actually later today) with a kinky chic he met online, and I admit I am slightly jealous, but also slightly excited (she may be into ployamourous relationships).
Nothing to do now but sit back and relax and see where life takes me.
My dominant, The Sadist, told me tonight that he had decided not to renew our contract.It upset me more then I realized, not because I love him (I don't love him), but because it is always hard to lose a dominant, especially a good dominant. I feel as if I could have been a much better submissive for him, especially towards the end. I was dealing with immense loneliness, and kept looking towards him for comfort. If it had been a loving relationship, I would have every right to look towards him for comfort, but it wasn't. It was a contracted relationship, and a strictly D/s one. No emotions, no feelings. Well, there was emotion. I care for him, he is a good friend, and my biggest fear is that somehow that friendship has been damaged.
I went over to Angela's and cried for a little bit. It didn't help that he gave horrible reasons, when in reality the most likely reason why he's ending it is because he's bored with me and wants something new and exciting. I hate it when guys do that, about 80% of my relationships end because of that. I realize what I missed wasn't The Sadist himself, but his actions. His dominance, and his sadism. I am a natural submissive, and when I have a good dom, I flourish. He was a lot of fun, and I will miss it.We then watched season two of the muppet show, and I cheered up a little.
When I got home, I cuddled up with my room mate/ex-dominant, Z, which always makes me feel better. He is very easy to talk to. We talked about the possibility of me becoming his submissive again someday, a conversation that we started a few weeks ago. I'm not ready for anything right now, I want some "me" time, time to relax, work, meditate, evolve. Fortunately, he isn't ready for anything either. He is having coffee tomorrow (actually later today) with a kinky chic he met online, and I admit I am slightly jealous, but also slightly excited (she may be into ployamourous relationships).
Nothing to do now but sit back and relax and see where life takes me.
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